That this isn’t about him and how he feels right now, that he should apologise for betraying your trust. It takes a moment for him to stop thinking about himself and realise that he’s hurt you. His tangent of self-hatred going on in his head is interrupted by the sound of quiet weeping, before it turns into full-on sobs. And now he wants to cry and wallow in his own misery for a while because he’s reminded himself of Lilith and how she would always listen to him whenever he goes on rambles. He’s convinced he’s destroyed the only meaningful friendship he’s ever had and you’ll never talk to him again and you’ll hate him forever. He would throw himself into Henry’s aquarium to drown if he didn’t know he could breathe underwater. “Ya can tell me anything, but yeah- I’ll wait.” He’s a bit confused but he knows from your expression that what you’re going to tell him is important. “Wait-” your voice is quieter than usual “I need to tell you something after we’ve sorted this all out.” He gives you one last head pet and a slightly pained smile before he tries to leave- before you stop him. “I’ll leave ya alone, ( _ ),” it hurts to say but he knows when he should go. It’s expected after crying for so long, but it still sends a heavy shot of guilt running through his entire body. He feels you slowly pull away from him, and when he gets a proper look at you- your eyes are swollen and rimmed red. He’s stopped apologising, instead doing what Lucifer does whenever he finds his brothers crying- soothingly rubbing their back with a few kisses to the head here and there. He feels the sobs and hiccups that painfully shook your shoulders slowly start to subside, replaced with quiet weeping. He has to fight back his own tears as he comforts you, he’s hurt you, and in addition to that- the image of Lilith won’t leave his head. That he knows you’re not their sister and you never will be, you are your own person and he sees it as just that. He’s spewing apologies left and right, begging and hoping you knew he didn’t mean it. He got up and hugged you before the first few tears even rolled down your face. And now he’s broken that trust, the look of surprise is evident on your face with just the barest hint of confusion, but what hurts the most was how it slowly turned into betrayal, and then suddenly- the tears started to well up. He swore to himself to never compare you to her- knowing how you felt about looking just like their late sibling. “Very well, ( _ ),” he says nothing else as you get up and try to leave, but just as you close his door, you hear another ‘I’m sorry’.Įven he was surprised when he heard the word ‘sister’ come out of his mouth. I umm- I need some time for myself,” to that, he gives you a subtle squeeze before letting you go. “That’s alright, you can tell me when you are. “I don’t know if I’m ready to tell you yet.”Īlthough he wants to say that you can trust him, he’s already hurt you tonight, and his gut is telling him that this isn’t something he can convince you to let out. It’s…” you let out a heavy sigh- the sound is tired, and he knows at once that this is something you have carried on your shoulders for a long time. It takes a few minutes, but you manage to calm down enough to speak. Though it’s selfish, he hopes you understand he’s never been good at apologies. I never should have called you by her name,” he pets your head like he always does in hopes of comforting you. He feels your tears staining his waistcoat and that somehow makes him feel worse, despite you being the one crying. It seems that was the catalyst for him to finally take action- within seconds, he got up from his desk, walked to where you sat and pulled you in for a hug. The heavy racking sobs made by the human in front of him, and every tear that rolls down their cheeks, every hiccup they let out as they struggle to breathe sent a knife right through his heart. But his mouth refuses to move and the silence stretches on for even longer.Īnd suddenly, he hears it. He is completely in the wrong here- and he knows full well the insecurity living inside you, that maybe everyone in this house are only friends with you because you look like their sister. Neither of you can look the other in the eyes, and he knows he should speak up and apologize. The image in his head was a perfect recollection to remind him of what he failed to do, as though his own Father was trying to torment him even now. was exactly how Lilith used to sit beside him as she read a book. The way you sat quietly looking through your D.D.D. When he looked up and saw you sitting on one of his chairs beside his coffee table, he was reminded of Lilith- the way she would always come up to his office to check in on him the same way you do. He didn’t mean to, he swore on his six wings.
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